420 ftw
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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