idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
