just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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