you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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