I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So much Jack, so little girl.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
