I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
