So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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