Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
