I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
