THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
