ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
