Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
