oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
