sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
