Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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