I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
