im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
