you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
