Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
