For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
