belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
