You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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