now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
