we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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