Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
