I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
