This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
