If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
