it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
