My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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