Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
