Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
