Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
