This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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