he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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