I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
