if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I forgot wine drunk hurts
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
