I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Umm I'm too high to move.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Pooping to opera.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
