I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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