I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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