i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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