The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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