Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
