I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I understand Curling. That high.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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