What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
