I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I am available for nakedness
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize