remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
