it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's never too late to be topless.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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