The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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