She's JV to your varsity
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My cat gives me a boner
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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