I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
