I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
